Well, hello there!
Obviously, I have been a little MIA for a while now. I was in a funk, for sure. My brown spotting continued, lightly, for most of the past few weeks. It was a tough pill for me to swallow, honestly. I wanted so badly for it to stop so that I could feel normal and enjoy my pregnancy. I wanted so badly to workout again and posting workouts that I couldn't do pushed my mind into a space I didn't like. So, I took a break.
I had to wait almost 5 weeks for my third ultrasound (7w5d to 12w0d). Last time, my baby died when it measured around 8 weeks, but I was around 9 weeks (it measured 6 days behind at my first ultrasound). The fact that I had to wait so long and I knew that my last baby passed during that time was hard. Add the spotting and I'm sure you can understand my general state of mind. The only thing that I will say is that despite the constant "what-ifs" that kept plaguing my mind, I did feel much better about this pregnancy overall. I was much sicker, I felt more tired, and I just felt more positive overall. Still, the thoughts loomed in the background.
My 12 week appointment was 2 days ago. 12 weeks to the day. My NT scan. My first abdominal ultrasound. I definitely stopped breathing as she searched for the baby and she noticed my fear. She quickly said, "there's the baby and there's the heartbeat." I cried. It was amazing. Nothing like the indistinguishable blob we saw weeks before. It has a little nose, mouth, hands, and feet. She wiggled my belly to make it turn the way she needed it to and we watched the little feet kick. It was incredible. I never thought I'd get here.
We will get the final results of the blood test next week, but the initial ultrasound looked good and we are super thankful. I plan on getting back into my workouts next week when I reach the second trimester. They will definitely be a far cry from my old workouts, but as long as I am moving again, I'll be a happy girl!
