Saturday, August 12, 2017

Holy MIA!

Well, hello there!

Obviously, I have been a little MIA for a while now.  I was in a funk, for sure.  My brown spotting continued, lightly, for most of the past few weeks.  It was a tough pill for me to swallow, honestly.  I wanted so badly for it to stop so that I could feel normal and enjoy my pregnancy.  I wanted so badly to workout again and posting workouts that I couldn't do pushed my mind into a space I didn't like.  So, I took a break.

I had to wait almost 5 weeks for my third ultrasound (7w5d to 12w0d).  Last time, my baby died when it measured around 8 weeks, but I was around 9 weeks (it measured 6 days behind at my first ultrasound).  The fact that I had to wait so long and I knew that my last baby passed during that time was hard.  Add the spotting and I'm sure you can understand my general state of mind.  The only thing that I will say is that despite the constant "what-ifs" that kept plaguing my mind, I did feel much better about this pregnancy overall.  I was much sicker, I felt more tired, and I just felt more positive overall.  Still, the thoughts loomed in the background.

My 12 week appointment was 2 days ago.  12 weeks to the day.  My NT scan.  My first abdominal ultrasound.  I definitely stopped breathing as she searched for the baby and she noticed my fear.  She quickly said, "there's the baby and there's the heartbeat."  I cried.  It was amazing.  Nothing like the indistinguishable blob we saw weeks before.  It has a little nose, mouth, hands, and feet.  She wiggled my belly to make it turn the way she needed it to and we watched the little feet kick.  It was incredible.  I never thought I'd get here.

We will get the final results of the blood test next week, but the initial ultrasound looked good and we are super thankful.  I plan on getting back into my workouts next week when I reach the second trimester.  They will definitely be a far cry from my old workouts, but as long as I am moving again, I'll be a happy girl!

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