Superset Sunday

Today, I decided to do some supersetting!  I was introduced to the idea of supersets when I was in physical therapy.  In January of 2016, I found out I had a severely herniated C5-6 disc that resulted in a spinal cord injury.

I had had symptoms and pain since high school (fun fact: cheerleading IS apparently dangerous, kids!), but never realized the actual problem.  I had x-rays and nothing ever came up on those (another fun fact: herniated discs only show up on MRIs!).  So, I just always assumed I did too much at the gym or just pulled a muscle or whatever.  One day, I went to a chiropractor and the adjustment caused the herniated disc to poke my spinal cord, which resulted in a spinal cord injury.  One MRI and lots of doctors appointments eventually left me with only one real option- ACDF surgery (in other words, the disc was removed and I'm now bionic!).  I had my surgery in June of 2016 and was allowed to resume working out again in October.  After all that time off (I was only allowed to walk and wore a collar for 8 weeks), it has been a slooooow crawl back.  I'm still no where near where I was, physically, but I'm trying and that's all that really matters.

Anyway, for those 6 months between the spinal cord injury and surgery, I had to stop CrossFit and I started going to physical therapy.  They knew my love for lifting and HIIT-based workouts, so that's how they structured my sessions.  They took all overhead lifts away from me, obviously, but would let me still do cleans, deadlifts, and dumbbell work.  They used supersets for their workouts, and I really enjoyed them.  So, I decided to bring them back today with a little mashup of my own!

NOTE: I did 6 rounds of each superset, but you can do 3-6.  Each superset should be completed quickly and with as little rest as possible between movements.  You can rest as needed between supersets.  Also, feel free to increase or decrease the weights as needed.  Choose a weight that is challenging, but not so challenging that you are completely done after each set.  As a point of reference, I am probably doing somewhere around 50% of my 1RM for deadlift and back squat.

Superset 1-

6 deadlift (120 lbs)
40 second plank

Superset 2-

10 back squat (95 lbs)
20 second right plank
20 second left plank

Superset 3-

10 push ups
10 inverted bodyweight rows

I followed this up with some clean and snatch work.  Nothing crazy.  Just wanted to do a little extra credit.  :)

Saturday :) :)

Happy Saturday!! Today is a BEAUTIFUL day here.  So excited to catch up on all my housework and not have to go work.  Days like today make me so excited for summer.  Also, they make me wish I could hit the lottery and not have to work anymore! 😜

I went to the gym bright and early this morning and here's what I did:

Warm up-

500 m row
10 m forward inch worm with 10 sec plank hold
10 m backward inch worm with 10 sec plank hold

Lifting-

Horizontal push: Push ups 2x15
Vertical push: Inclined DB press 2x9 (25 lb DBs)
Tricep: Barbell seated tricep extension 2x9 (25 lb barbell)
Horizontal pull: 1-arm dumbbell row 2x20 (25 lb DB)
Rear/medial delts: Barbell upright row 2x14 (50 lb barbell)
Hamstrings: Lying leg curl 2x15 (55 lb)
Quads: High bar back squat 2x12 (120 lb)
Abs: Slant board sit up 3x15 (holding 20 lb ball)

Long week = home workout

This week has been CRAZY busy for me at work.  I am totally pooped.  I really wanted to go to the gym, but hubs is working late tonight and I have buttholes for dogs.  Well, really just the younger one.  He gets destructive when we're gone too much.  Didn't feel like leaving and coming home to a destroyed couch (again...).

So, home workout it is!  I decided to try one I did a few weeks ago to compare pregnant vs. not pregnant (but out of shape because I have taken off way more than normal) Alyssa.  I definitely did this one in less time this time, but it was still not as easy as it looks.  Disclaimer: this workout is a little hard on the wrists because it is a lot of plank-based movements.  If you have wrist wraps, I would suggest wearing them.  Additionally, you could change up the rep/round count as I have outlined below.  It's the same amount of work either way, so do whatever works for you!

2 rounds of 25 reps each movement 
OR 5 rounds 10 reps each movement 
OR 10 rounds of 5 reps each movement-

Mountain climbers
Air squats
Push ups
Burpees
Left side lunge
Right side lunge
Right side plank crunch
Left side plank crunch
Jumping jacks
Plank shoulder taps

Strength Day

Feeling pretty good today.  Some very slight bleeding left over, but overall feeling pretty much back to normal.  The bloating in my stomach is going away now.  The only symptom that I really have left of my pregnancy is HORRIBLE breakouts on my face.  Usually, I have really clear skin.  This is bad, and I'm mostly attributing it to crazy hormonal changes.  Hopefully, it subsides soon.

Anyway, it feels amazing to lift again.  I know I didn't take that much time off, but it feels like a year ago.  It's nice to get back to normal.  Since I was feeling pretty good, I decided to bring abdominal movements back today.  This is week 3, day 1 of my templates:

Deadlift: Deadlift (115 lbs) 2x13
Quads: Leg press (100 lbs) 2x20
Quads: DB walking lunge (25 lb DBs) 2x20
Hamstrings: Seated leg curl (60 lbs) 2x14
Vertical push: Standing DB shoulder press (15 lb DBs) 2x15
Vertical pull: Narrow grip pull down (60 lbs) 2x13
Rear/medial delts: Cable upright row (60 lbs) 2x13
Abs: Hanging knee raise 3x10

AND I'M BACK!

I woke up this morning and decided that today would be the day that I officially hit the reset button.  I still have a little bleeding, but I want to get back to normal.  

While I probably should have started with something a little more cardio-based, I really missed just lifting.  So, I decided to continue on with my templates at the lighter weights I was using before for this week.  It worked out really well because the day that I had left off at was a mostly upper body workout.  I think I'm going to try to avoid abdominal and pelvic-based movements for another week or so.  I just want to be sure that everything heals normally and that I don't overdo it.

Next week, I want to redo my 10 rep maxes and restart the templates.  Then, I will do the templates 3x a week and also add in 1-2 days of cardio/HIIT workouts.

So, today's workout:

Vertical pull: Parallel pull ups 3x9

Horizontal pull: Underhand EZ row (45 lbs) 3x15

Rear/medial delt: DB side lateral raise (10 lb DBs) 3x14

Bicep: DB twist curl (15 lb DBs) 2x13

Vertical push: Seated barbell shoulder press (45 lbs) 3x11

Quads: Barbell walking lunge (45 lbs) 3x20

Hamstrings: 45 degree back raise (20 lb) 3x12

It's over

Well.. I had my D&C on Friday.  I was so worried about it beforehand.  I've had to have a few surgeries before and have never been as nervous as I was for this one.  I think it was just because I had no idea what to expect.  Honestly, I never even heard of a D&C until a few months ago when someone else I know had to have one.  When I found out the baby was gone, I initially told my doctor that I wanted to miscarry naturally, even though she advised against it due to the fact that I had no bleeding or cramping and the baby was measuring 8 weeks.  She said that she was worried that I would end up bleeding too much and need an emergency D&C.  After doing some research, I decided that the surgery would be the easiest option on my body and my mind.  I have to say, I am SO happy with my decision.  I can't imagine passing our baby on my own into the toilet.  Not only that, but at almost 11 weeks, my body still hadn't recognized that the baby was gone.  Who knows how much longer it would have taken for me to start miscarrying naturally.

Anyway, this will be my last post about my miscarriage.  I don't want to dwell on it anymore.  In a few days (once I stop bleeding and the bloat goes away), I will start working out again and posting my workouts.  I'm also going to be revamping my website this weekend and adding a section for my DIY house projects.  Stay tuned! :)

The waiting game

So, it's been a week since I posted.  I haven't really worked out since my last workout entry and I wasn't really sure what to post otherwise.  I've taken lots of walks around our lake this week, but I haven't made myself go to the gym.  I'm not sure why, honestly.  As far as what is going on, I'm waiting to have my D&C procedure.  That will happen on Friday.

How do I feel a week later?  I feel pretty normal, actually.  It's a little weird to know that there's a dead baby inside me that my body hasn't recognized, but I'm not really upset anymore.  Basically, in this scenario, I just got really unlucky.  Based on the statistics online, the chance of losing the baby after you hear the heartbeat is 1-2%.  The chance of having a missed miscarriage is 1%.  I fall under both of those categories.  I could dwell on this fact and I could feel really bad for myself and I could sit in my house and cry all day.. but I don't want to.  I don't see the point.  I don't see what that would do for me other than make me depressed.  Would I have liked to still be pregnant?  Absolutely.  But I'm not, and I can't dwell on the what-ifs.

I think, in life, people have two ways of handling situations (with a little gray area, of course).  They either lose or build a layer when faced with a less than ideal situation.  People that lose layers are "feelers".  They wear their hardships on their sleeves.  They are extremely compassionate to other people, but also allow their own feelings to get the best of them.  They are "weak," for lack of a better term, in the sense that they fall apart sometimes and need to lean on others for support.  Then, there are the builders.  With each hardship in life, they put up a wall.  They lack compassion and are extremely logical in the way they deal with their pain.  They seem to have it all together even in the toughest of times, but they are just good at internalizing their pain.  They don't rely on others to help them get through tough times.  Neither is the correct way to deal with situations because both have their pros and cons.  However, I choose to build a layer.  I let each bad situation I'm dealt in life harden me because I don't want to fall apart.  However, I also don't let a lot of people in to help me when I need it the most, and that is my downfall.  Maybe this was meant to teach me something about myself.

I feel like the only thing that I can do is move forward and realize what I have learned from this situation.  Prior to being pregnant, I never thought that I would even be able to GET pregnant.  I don't know why; that's just always how I felt.  So, the fact that it happened at all and happened so fast is a huge positive.  As I've said before, I'm a very logical person and I always said, "If I ever had a miscarriage, I don't think I'd be upset.  I would know something was wrong with the baby."  While that's partially true (I do still think that), this situation has taught me to be compassionate in a way that I didn't know how to be before.  I understand the shock, disbelief, and sadness associated with miscarriage.  These are just a few things that I can be grateful for in this situation.

I may or may not update after my D&C.  We will see how I feel.  After that, I'm not sure how long it will be until I can go back to working out, so I may be taking some time off from posting.  I will be back eventually though with my daily workouts.  I might not be a mama (I will always be a dog mama though, so the name will stay!), but I will always be a lifter. :)

No more heartbeat...

Well, I wish I could say this post was good news.  Unfortunately, at my second ultrasound, there was no heartbeat.  It seems as though the baby stopped growing this past weekend.  They said that this was more than likely due to some sort of chromosomal abnormality.  I know this.  I have been telling my husband this was always a possibility since we found out we were pregnant.  Miscarriage has always loomed in the back of my mind.  I know that the chance of it is so high.  However, I also know that the chance of miscarriage after seeing the heartbeat was only 1-2%.  I guess I just happen to fall into that unlucky percentage.

Pre-pregnancy, when I heard that other women had had a miscarriage, I would always think, "If I have a miscarriage, I won't be upset.  I'll know the baby wasn't healthy and my body was doing it's job."  And, logically, I do think that.  Still, I surprised myself by how upset this all has made me.  I have been crying on and off for the past two days.

This has really made me reflect on my feelings.  I wouldn't describe what I feel as sad, per se.  I am sad, but not for myself.  I'm sad for my husband.  I saw him cry for the first time since our wedding yesterday.  I'm sad for our parents.  We just told them all last week, out of excitement.  I always said I wouldn't tell anyone until I was 12 weeks, but I broke that rule after we heard the heartbeat.  My dad went through cancer treatments all last year and finally got a clean bill of health.  I wanted to give them good news; something to look forward to.  Yet, here I am, not even a week later, adding on to the pile of shit they have had to deal with over the past year.  Why didn't I wait?

This brings me to my next feeling- anger.  I'm angry at myself, first and foremost.  I KNEW I should have waited to tell them, but I let my excitement get the better of me.  Then I get angry that this is happening to me.  Haven't I dealt with enough this past year?  No, stop it.  That's a selfish way to think.  Lots of people deal with a lot more than you.  Angry, jealous, annoyed, sad, selfish, envious.  I feel it all.  I'm so surprised by these emotions.

Why isn't this something more people talk about?  Why do I not know what is "normal" to feel?  Why is this something that you're just supposed to suffer with in silence?  Why do I feel weird taking off work?  I haven't taken off work, actually, because I don't know what to say.  I'm not physically sick.  I'm heart sick.  I don't want anyone to know what I'm feeling because I don't want them to tell me the very same thing I would have told anyone else in my situation: "Well, it wasn't meant to be"  or "Something must have been wrong with the baby" or "I'm sure you'll have a happy, healthy baby next time."  It doesn't help.  Nothing helps.

But that doesn't mean we shouldn't talk about it.  I want to express how I feel.  I don't want to keep it in.  I want to be sad and for people to understand why I'm sad.  I want someone to come to me if and when this happens to them because they KNOW I went through it.  I want to be a shoulder.  I want to be that person that says it's okay to be sad, angry, jealous, etc., etc.  That they NEED to feel these feelings and reflect.  That it's good for the soul to get it all out.

And so, in a matter of 48 hours, I feel like I have gone through every emotion in the book and have come to some sort of acceptance of what is happening.  I will be scheduling my D&C for next week in hopes that I can move on from this quickly and begin to heal.  Maybe I'll be a mom one day and maybe I won't.  I have to accept that this is something that is out of my control and whatever is supposed to happen, will.  I can't beat myself up anymore.

9 weeks, 3 days

My doctor called today and said she just got a chance to look at my ultrasound.  Unfortunately, she says she sees a hematoma (not sure if she is referring to an SCH or something else).  I already had my first OB appointment scheduled for this Wednesday night, so now I have to go for a second ultrasound tomorrow morning.  They will compare this one to the first to monitor the size of the baby and the hematoma.  I don't/haven't had any bleeding and the heartbeat was strong at my last appointment.  However, the baby was measuring 6 days behind at my first ultrasound, so I guess that's why they are being more cautious.  Hopefully everything looks okay tomorrow and she's happy with the baby's progress on Wednesday.  Until then, I've decided to cool it on the workouts.  I will be taking a little break until I speak with the doctor about what's safe and what's not.  Have a good week!

9 weeks, 2 days

I took off yesterday because I felt like straight garbage.  I did go for a 2.5 mile walk with my husband and dogs, but that was about it for my workout.

I went to bed early and woke up feeling GREAT today.  Still a little stuffy, but fine otherwise.  This is the first time in a few weeks I've felt like I had energy again.  I went grocery shopping, did a bunch of laundry, cleaned the house, AND went to the gym.  Today made me realize just how tired this pregnancy has made me.  It's so crazy what a change in hormones can do!

Anyway, here's today's workout-

Lifting:

Deadlift: Deadlift (110 lbs) 2x12
Quads: Leg press (90 lbs) 2x17
Quads: DB walking lunge (25 lb DBs) 2x20
Hamstrings: Seated leg curl (40 lbs) 2x13
Vertical push: Standing DB shoulder press (15 lb DBs) 2x14
Vertical pull: Narrow grip pulldown (60 lbs) 2x12
Rear/medial delts: Cable upright row (60 lbs) 2x12

I'd also like to note that I decided to take out most ab movements a little earlier than I had originally planned.  I thought I would be phasing them out closer to 12-13 weeks.  However, for the past 1-2 weeks, I've been noticing some weird pulling feelings on my sides.  It seems like it's one of the ligaments that attach from my pelvis to my ribs.  I'm sure it's normal, but since I feel it, I decided to play it safe.  I will be substituting ab movements with plank-type movements from now on.  Always important to listen to your body and do what you're comfortable with!!